Wade Poe

In a sense, Lady Gaga was right. We might not have all our flavors baked in at first, but as we grow in our first few years, we certainly pick up a lot things that shape how we see, feel, and think. If raised in a home filled with tension and conflict, you learn to be on edge - living in fear and in defense mode all the time. If that is extended into school, work, or other environments, you just live that way.  Vice versa, if you grow up in a peaceful, reassuring environment with teachers, friends, and all the people you're around normally being encouraging, etc, you'll have more confidence and less defensiveness. Or to use a different dynamic, you can grow up dreading work and prefer relaxing and doing less physically demanding things. Or vice versa - you might dislike sitting still and not being busy. You can make a long list of different kinds of variables a person can experience growing up that make them feel "born this way" as their life unfolds and they develop ...

One of my favorite songs "in church" when growing up was "Blessed be the tie that binds..." .  The song goes on to say, "...our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above". It was usually a closing song and usually, in my experience, was sung during an evening service or as part of the Wednesday night class devotional. It's still a good song and I have fond memories of it.  Haven't sung it in years and can't remember the last time I was in a church gathering where it was sung. It really does say what a lot of people feel and think about "church" - that it is (or can be) a very tight collection of people who are deeply bonded together over shared beliefs, feelings, and actions.   You really cannot understate the bond that exists in some church groups. There's an emotional attachment that comes with helping each other through life - the good and the bad - over a long period of time. Family is the...

I've found that a lot of people who want to understand those who are deconstructing only understand  it if you "come at them" with how they are seen as "the church".  At least initially.  For some, it's a wake up to find out that it's not just people deciding to "go off and sin" or "become atheists.   So here's a little of that. For those in a church - you have or find a comfy place there where God is accessible in some way.  There’s a somewhat understandable way things are done, and the general point is easy to follow - you show up, be part of the group, contribute, and be supportive. The idea that God might have had something else in mind is unthinkable. "What else could there be?  Church has been like this since the 1st century, hasn’t it?  What else could God have possibly have intended?" The church is a closed system. If you want in, you join it - if you weren't born into it. You follow its rules and norms. Tru...

Everyone's doing it now. In the past two years since I began a public journey of deconstruction and rebuilding, it's become very popular.   It probably was going on a lot but I just didn't see it until the last few months because of the algorithms on social media - now it seems like everyone is doing it.   Yes, there's a good bit of hyperbole there with "everyone", but that's the nature of algorithms - to reinforce what you have posted about and connect you with other, similar things or posts. The difference I've noticed with all the new people on TikTok, Instagram, X, and Facebook is how many people who are or "have already" deconstructed are heading out into new and different directions. A good number have thrown scripture and tradition as a whole out the window and are making their own thing entirely.  Maybe using scripture or Jesus as a springboard for their ideas, but that's about it. Some are simply throwing churches and religion in...

A lot of the questions I'd get from people when doing many years of "full-time ministry" and some years of college instruction was "Is it normal to ___________?" It usually seemed to take a while for the person or the couple to approach a subject and ask the question. Two or three marriages counseling appointments in or a couple of office hour visits to get a sense of what I thought of something. They would sometimes "beat around the bush" to get the sense of who I was/am and what I thought about a range of topics before they'd ask. And they wouldn't always ask it that way - "Is it normal to __________?".   Sometimes they'd bring something up over and over and it became obvious they wanted guidance based on what they shared they'd been doing so far in life. People want to know "Am I normal?".   It was often sad to know that many of those people didn't have someone or somewhere in their life where they could ask q...

As I kind of expected, the response to the post about forgiveness that used Philip Yancey as an example had a mixed response.  Many 100% on the side of forgiveness and moving on in grace, mercy, and such. And then there were those who felt sorrow or even outrage about how those (specifically his wife) impacted by Philip Yancey's decisions were overlooked or dismissed as irrelevant to the discussion. In fairness, they were irrelevant to that post because it was about how forgiveness is ridiculous, over the top, undeserved, and often not fully practiced by a lot of us, even when we think and hope we are. To some degree, the responses displayed the point being made: how hard forgiveness is and the wide range of opinions that people - believers and non-believers alike - can have about what it looks like. Some people want a pound of flesh -- some revenge, pain, or shame to be given -- for the person who has asked for forgiveness to not be released from the heat of the moment without ...