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But what about the wife?

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As I kind of expected, the response to the post about forgiveness that used Philip Yancey as an example had a mixed response.  Many 100% on the side of forgiveness and moving on in grace, mercy, and such. And then there were those who felt sorrow or even outrage about how those (specifically his wife) impacted by Philip Yancey's decisions were overlooked or dismissed as irrelevant to the discussion. In fairness, they were irrelevant to that post because it was about how forgiveness is ridiculous, over the top, undeserved, and often not fully practiced by a lot of us, even when we think and hope we are. To some degree, the responses displayed the point being made: how hard forgiveness is and the wide range of opinions that people - believers and non-believers alike - can have about what it looks like. Some people want a pound of flesh -- some revenge, pain, or shame to be given -- for the person who has asked for forgiveness to not be released from the heat of the moment without ...
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The Story

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One of the fascinating things I learned many years ago was learning how people and groups process and work through life through the really big story they learn and live out. Even if you don't know it, you're living inside of a narrative or story that you heard growing up and have modified over time to fit with the experiences you've had. The big life story I heard or saw growing up was that you finish school at some point, go to work in a job or career, get married and have kids at some point, raise those kids till they move out to start their own life, and then work till you retire, and then spend a few years doing a few things you enjoy before you die and go to heaven to be with God and everyone who went before you. That was the background story for most all of life for me.   Still is to some degree - though it's been modified heavily over time - it's still the shadow that's cast over the way life is assumed to unfold. _______________ I heard variations of it ...
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Disappointment with Philip Yancey

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Earlier this year, it was announced that Philip Yancey, popular and successful Christian author, had confessed to a long term affair and was stepping away from public ministry.   Not only was he given much grief over his confession, but was also accused by some of just trying to make sure his wife didn't leave him since he'd been recently diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. Here was the guy who wrote the very impactful book, "Disappointment with God", many years back, and now many people were experiencing great disappointment with Philip Yancey.  The online reaction was surprisingly brutal. _______________ It's a hard thing to be disappointed.  It does something to you.  I remember other popular authors or influencers over the years having a public fall from grace and the weird times when you'd later want to quote them or refer to one of their previous works and, all of a sudden, you felt like you either could not use them anymore or had to qualify what yo...
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Well, well, well...if it isn't the consequences of my choices

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Well, well, well...if it isn't the consequences of my choices. I've seen that on t-shirts and memes and it's often an overlooked thing.  Our choices do have consequences.  Benefits too!  But consequences for sure.  And other people's choices have both benefits and consequences for us. It all rolls together over time to great where we are and what we're experiencing.  We all play a part or a role in what's going on. Oddly enough, the most recent sighting of the meme made me think of the time that Israel was sent off into exile - taken over by other countries and made to be subservient and no longer independent. When you read through the prophets who were warning Israel about the behaviors and the potential (or coming) consequences, it's often spoke of as "God's judgment" and that's probably fair. God told them, way back in the day, that they had a code to live by, some laws to follow, and that there would be benefits for following them and s...
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The Satanic Panic

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In the 70's and 80's, there was this thing called "the Satanic Panic".  A minister or two began claiming that if you played certain rock music backwards, you'd hear messages encouraging devil or Satan worship and your subconscious would pick up on it and you'd become possessed or influenced by the devil. I remember hearing about it "at church" and at school.  People would talk about it with comments ranging from, "That's so cool!" to "That's a load of BS." to "We've got to stop all you all from listening to that devil music!" People were genuinely terrified. Horror movies were just beginning to be popular, from my memory at least, and the fear of the devil coming through rock music fit right into it all.  Anything associated with hard rock music was opening you up to the influence of the devil. I remember watching an instructional/educational video about it with church people and, as the video ended with ever...
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Criticizing Jesus' wife

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Over the past couple of years as more people began to be open about deconstruction and changing how they feel or believe about faith issues, a pushback came from some insiders saying that those going through deconstruction are criticizing Jesus' bride, the church. Usually the push back included the assumption that any kind of criticism of "church" is a criticism of their specific church and that people ought not to say anything that would cause anyone to think negatively in any way about "church"; only positive things are allowed. When specific instances of why someone would offer critique of something happening "in a church" or about the faith group they were from, the response is usually something like... "Well, the church is full of imperfect people. Of course they make mistakes. You can't expect perfection.  Being part of a church assumes you'll put up with pain, doubts, disagreements, etc.  God expects you do stick it out and honor hi...
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What causes someone to believe

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Most people are born into belief.   You don't have to decide about a lot of things, you're just "given" those things and you assume that is how things are and how the world works. As you grow and develop, you begin to run into and/or pick up different ideas and experiences.  At some point, you have to begin defending what you already believe or  begin considering the different ideas and experiences as possibly something to take into your world or belief system. Safety, trust, the possibility of loss or benefit, and a whole host of unspoken but strongly felt thoughts and considerations begin unfolding inside a person IF and when they begin to take other things inside their heart and mind. _______________ When I was a child, my family moved from the country and into a small town. One of my first memories of meeting other people around my age was after a church gathering on a Wednesday night. I don't remember why we got on the topic, but me and another boy got into a...
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