At a loss for words-Part 2

What's the big deal IF the main message of a church is community and relationships?  

Is it not the case that sometimes what you get people's attention with *at first* is community and relationships?  

Can it not be:

• having good feels
• a safe place to raise our kids and grandkids
• a place to contribute and feel ownership
• a place to serve
• a place to have friendships or at least somewhat meaningful relationship 
• a place to savor our heritage or history with others
• a place to call our own, etc 

...can't those things be the thing that attracts "outsiders" to come to us and, if they're not believers, open up a time to witness to them about God and what he's done for us in Jesus?

In other words, can't you do the old "bait and switch" thing?  Well, sure you can.  If people would at least TRY that, it would be great.  "Here's a nice softball team for you to play on.  And by the way, have you met our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"

First, I don't even see that happening much anywhere - there's rarely any switching, it's just all bait.  

And second, as someone said a long time ago, whatever you attract people with is what you have to keep on providing to keep them.  And that's not a huge problem since many don't have an actual gospel they can verbally share, so they can just keep on giving all that bait.

The problem with all that is that when the subcultural preferences of a group (remember, all that community and relationship?) become the primary variable that determines most everything about them, they subconsciously (and even sometimes overtly) filter out anyone and everyone who isn't like them or who isn't willing to become like them, and/or isn't willing to stand around in awe of/service to them.

Yes, churches have personalities and everyone has to find their fit.  If they acknowledge that up front, that would be great, so people can know "this is who we are and what we're gonna be about and if you don't like how you'd fit in here, we encourage you to move on, sooner than later."

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If there's no good news message about what God has and is doing through Jesus as the *primary* driver in all that is going on, then it really is mainly a social club that has religious flavoring, moral instruction, and some kind of organization that supports the communal/relational aspects of their subculture.

If Jesus isn't some kind of driving force behind a) what kind of community is made, b) what the nature of the relationships actually is, and c) what people focus on, then you can really just pick anything you want to do and call it "church" and, for the most part, if you aren't too crazy about it, people will buy into it.

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A young person, some while back, asked if it was normal for people to gather in groups of likeness or sameness.  They asked if, based on appearance, was it normal for all the girls who are like a 7, 8, 9, or 10 on the "appearance or hotness scale" that people use - is it normal for them to hang out together and NOT hang out with people who might look like a 1, 2, 3, etc?  

That's a fair question.  And I said, yes, it's pretty much true.  People tend to gravitate toward those who they feel will reward them in some way.  In this case, if you look like me, I can venture a guess you'll be like me and we'll share some values, common ground, etc - I will 100% reach out to you before I even begin to look at anyone who isn't in my set of numbers.

I asked if that was what they were seeing at school and they confirmed it.  Just about everywhere they go in school, they see this kind of grouping of similar people and rarely a natural crossover anywhere.

And then I asked if they saw anything different in their church group.  After thinking about it for a moment, they said, "No, it's pretty much the same.  Everyone follows around the pretty or popular people and those who are not usually sit together or by themselves and away from the pretty or popular people.  And no, the pretty or popular people don't do anything to reach across to those who aren't. And no, the non-pretty and non-popular people don't either.  It's like that was decided ahead of time because of things that had happened before and now they're just continuing on."

And that's just sad. Yes, that's just the way the world works. But it shouldn't be the way "the church" works.

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So, back to the loss for words.  Often, in many church situations, the same high school rules apply across the board.  I can think of rare exceptions I've seen over the decades.  It's like we don't even notice that we do the same things because we have the camouflage of church and religion blessing our version of high school rules.

And then we wonder why we don't attract more outsiders "to God"?  Maybe it's because we're not trying to attract people to the gospel of God, but we're trying to get more people who are like us so we can build our own like-minded, similar-enough-sub-culturally group of people even larger and the whole God thing gets in the way of that.

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I'm really not as bitter or cynical as all that might sound.  From sociology training, I tend to run all social situations I encounter through the normal battery of sociological theories.

• Symbolic interaction theory - what does it mean to the people in the situation?
• Conflict theory - who benefits from the current state of affairs/current set up?
• Functionalism - what does it do or what function does each part provide and/or what is produced?

There are a few other theories, but they all are still based on the above in some way.

Because I usually always run all situations through those theories, it's a pretty harsh analysis that comes out the other side.  I wish it wasn't, but it is.

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Imagine walking into a store to buy some things and when you get inside, the things you're looking for are all behind the counter somewhere, or in the case of all the Walmarts lately, behind a locked glass cabinet.

And you have to get someone who works there to get you anything you want. And they're all grouped up in different places around the store, talking to each other, you know, like an actual store in real life today.

And for the most part, sure, you can get customer service - you can get someone to get you what you need, eventually.  But you're treated like an inconvenience and/or with a little indifference/hostility.

That's kind of what some churches are like.  I know, I know - there are exceptions!  Yes, I've been to places where there is actually a mixer time where people are encouraged to meet one another.

But what happens after the service is over?  It's easy to mix during the mixer, but when you have a choice of what you're going to do after the official activity is over - it's a different story and the real you comes out.  Again, yes, there are exceptions and I've experienced some amazing ones and am grateful for them.

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What's the product for sale?  Using the example above of the store with all the goods behind the counter, what is the product for sale?  And why pick that store to shop in?

Churches, it would seem, are made up of people who have a new life in God and exist for encouraging and equipping people in that life so they can tell people who don't know about God the good news that is available to them through Jesus.  

Is that what most are like or about?  I'm really wondering more so these day.  I know that my filter is different than most.  I'm just not seeing it as much as I'd think you'd expect to see.

For the most part, the product for sale is still the church service experience and the social life or relationships available IF you happened to match the people there socially.  And they are not necessarily looking for new people to join them unless you can do a good audition and show you're worth their time because you'll be a good return with positive giving, attendance, attention, volunteer hours, etc.

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And all that stuff above has little to do with the good news.  

And it's why you don't hear many people talk about the gospel or the good news.  

Most of them don't know it.  

They know their church experience, but they aren't confident or aware of the good news.

So what is the good news?  

What is it about the gospel that is SO important in comparison to all the other stuff?

More soon...