The burden of freedom
It wasn't long before they complained to Moses that he'd brought them out of slavery BUT hadn't made them comfortable or hadn't made it easy.
"At least back in Egypt when we were slaves, we had fish and onions and cucumbers and other nice foods we like to eat."
In other words, yes, the idea of freedom is appealing and excellent in the abstract IF all my baseline needs that I had met by my slave masters continue to be met while I learn about and figure out my way in my new freedom and get to place where I can manage "on my own".
In other, other words - "Yeah, we complained about the slavery, but looking back we'd rather have it than have to figure out what to do 'on our own' - this freedom comes with too much responsibility!"
And boy howdy is that true.
A lot of people want freedom from some system in life, or at least they think they want freedom from a system. And when they're confronted with the reality of true freedom, they experience the lack all the things the system was doing for them and how they now have to be responsible for those things in their own life.
It's a good thing to think through. Jesus even made a point to people about really thinking through whether or not they wanted to follow him. Why? Because they'd be leaving a system of life behind and he wasn't promising what the system was giving - he was offering something very different.
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One of the things I've encountered through all this deconstruction and rebuilding are those kinds of dynamics or moments where you realize what you depended on "the system" for, all that it provided, and now you're outside that system!
Now you have to decide whether or not the things the system was providing:
- are worth the time and effort to re-create them on your own,
- are worth going back into the system so that you can return to its benefits, or
- were not that important or necessary anyway and it's okay to let them go entirely.
These are BIG questions.
Let me tell ya, that's really the rub of it. I've read, listened to, and spoken with a lot of people who have walked that path. It can be hard to de-institutionalize yourself.
What's that? What's de-institutionalizing? It’s coming to terms with the idea you’ve been programmed to depend on an institution to provide for some or all of your important needs. It’s choosing to move away from that. And it can be hard.
You know, like the tendency to want to return to the comfortable known because the new, highly promising, unknown is too much to deal with.
It's like when someone who has been in prison for a long time finally gets out and they are so used to the controlled, prepared prison life that being outside with all its freedom is too much. And they do something, anything to return to prison life.
It's also like when people have had school or the educational system as their safe place all their life and when graduation comes, they decide to go back to school and keep on being lifelong students or at least staying in school as long as they can because the world outside of an educational system is scary and requires you putting together your own set of things - lodging, food, activity, people, etc - and making your own life!
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So when you "leave church" in the pop culture sense of the word, you do have to decide a lot of those big questions mentioned above:
- What will worship to God look like?
- What do I give money to?
- Will I miss out on blessings from God if I'm not giving him money?
- How will I be with other believers?
- Aren't you NOT supposed to forsake the assembly?
- How will I learn about the Bible and God and stuff?
- How will my kids learn about the Bible, and God, and church, and stuff?
- What about all the songs I sang at church?
- What about Bible camp?
- What about potlucks?
- What about going to church?
- How will I know what God thinks about me?
Until you spend a little time outside of the slavery, you don't realize all the slavery had you hooked on - you don't realized how institutionalized you are or had become.
You don't realize how many things you thought were important or necessary because the system told you they were so that you'd be loyal to the system.
And for some, it's too much. It can be overwhelming. And they'll run back into the system and spend a while repenting and feeling bad, and then really invest and recommit to the system, and then, either come back to the same place again in a few years OR just go dead inside and keep "showing up" because it's easier than any alternative.
The Lord bless those people. I get it and have no judgment on them. The system has done a number on them and closed off or hidden most all the viable exits. May they find peace in that place they've decided to settle into.
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So how do you answer all those questions? That's what's coming up here soon. All the things people have asked me or said to me in the past few weeks - things asked or said out of genuine concern or curiosity.
And they're good questions that need to be answered so that others can see that there is hope and not just the absence of things.
In Galatians 5, Paul said, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
So, even people "back then" struggled mightily with this kind of question. And it was much more comfortable to them, in their minds, to just "go back" to the religious system they had been a part of all along.
All it takes is a short glance through Hebrews, Galatians, and Colossians to see how much time was taken up trying to get early believers to quit trusting in the temple and sacrifices and the safety of their religious community and instead trust in Jesus.
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Here's a room-dividing starter from the list above - we were never told to "have church" in the New Testament like we often think about "having church".
We're encouraged to get together with other believers to spur one another on toward love and good things.
We're encouraged to bring the good things we've seen, learned, or experienced that have revealed God to us more or encouraged us in some way - bring those things to share with each other so other believers can be encouraged and strengthened in their life with God.
We're encouraged to share life together - maybe have a meal and talk together about the good news of God through Jesus (and yes, we're coming back to that in its appropriate context) in that generous setting.
We're encouraged to make sure that when we do get together that nothing is assumed or hinted at or depends on everyone having some presupposed knowledge about things - be clear about what you're saying or what's going on so that God is made clearer - no "inside baseball" talk allowed.
We encouraged NOT to make us the center or focus of any kind of gathering like that - our talent, clothing, appearance, etc.
All of any gathering is to focus on God and encouraging one another in a life with him and NOT on how great and heartfelt those songs were, how amazing that message was, how cute it was to see all the kids down front, how excellent all our graphics and sounds are, etc.
When you get to the core of what any social gathering or interaction between believers was in the New Testament, it strips away a lot of the pageantry and formality we've added to it over centuries. And that shocks some people because the pageantry and formality is their focus.
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The first time you begin to think all that about "going to church" through and what it means to think about it differently- all sorts of objections arise in your mind. The “Why did we leave slavery in Egypt? At least we had cucumbers and onions to go with our fish" kinds of thought erupt and, I do mean erupt, all around us.
But it's okay. There is freedom that takes a while to get used to.
But it is freedom.
Enjoy it.
Grace and peace.
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