Following your friends off a cliff?

Peer pressure can be hard. Sometimes the weight of the people in the room is so much you don't even know when a decision is made, but you find yourself doing what everyone else is doing.

Sometimes you don't even have to be in the room with anyone, but the feeling of all those people and what they might think of you and how they might judge you weighs your decision making to one side - theirs.

I can't say we've all "been there" 'cause I don't know what people have gone through in detail. I do remember times in life when I went along with things and times when I stood back and did not.

Youth is a time when many people do "give in" because "it's what everyone is doing" and your thinking is very black and white and you truly believe what people think about you is very important.

Whether it's needing to look like other people in terms of how they dress or cut their hair or maybe going to some place and doing what everyone is doing - there's a lot of pressure to fit in or at least not be seen.

And it doesn't go away when you get older, even though the things you feel pressure about change and how you feel pressure is a little different - the pressure is still on.

Sure, you might not feel the need to smoke a fat bag of crack, but you might feel the need to go along with everyone's opinion about politics or religion or brands of toilet paper - just to keep the peace.

It's actually a fear response - one that can be proactive, looking for possible threats and deciding ahead of time how to solve problems that don't yet exist and might never - and it is a miserable way of being.

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“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

When Paul wrote to the non-Jewish believers in the region of Galatia, he wanted them to remain free and not choose to fall prey to the religious peer pressure from Jewish believers who wanted them to adopt the Law and Jewish customs as a requirement for following God.

Peer pressure is a very old thing. In Paul's day it was sometimes a life or death thing, not just the fear of being left out and not getting invited to someone's party.

If you'd decided to follow Jesus as Lord, there were places in the first century where you could lose work, lose family and friends, and maybe even lose your life.

In many cases, Gentile or non-Jewish believers in Jesus, were being pressured to follow the Old Law, especially regarding being circumcised if you were a male.  This was no small thing.

For Paul, it wasn't a matter of "let's all play nice" it was actually a rejection of what God had done through Jesus.  It was saying that Jesus isn't enough, you also NEED to practice Judaism to be right with God.

And that's a big no.  Gentiles didn't need to do any of that.  Jews were convinced you did under the "better safe than sorry" motivation.  Paul said that to listen to them was submitting to slavery.

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In environments or rooms or times when everyone is doing something that is attractive or fun, we're attracted and want to be included - at least initially.

It's nice to be invited and included.  It strokes our ego in a good way.  It gives us comfort and security.  It makes bad feelings diminish or go away.  It gives us a little boost of adrenaline and dopamine.

Nothing wrong with having natural reactions or liking to be liked.  God made us that way so that when we bond with others, we have back up systems that kick in and hold those bonds strong.

Paul knew that there were times when it was going to be tempting to listen to people who also liked Jesus AND who seemed to know a lot about him and his background since he was Jewish too.

Anytime someone speaks to you with what appears to be authority given by actual experience, confidence, and competence, you can find yourself shutting down your brain and just listening and following.

Following a God can be a big thing - you don't want to mess it up. When someone comes along and tells you they know how to do it better or the right way or the cool, original way, you might feel pressure.

Paul saw it for what it was - an actual replacing of the good news of Jesus with a deceptive version of the good news which was actually not good news at all.

It wasn't that Paul was saying you can't do any Jewish religious things, but he was saying if you weren't Jewish to start with, there's ZERO reason to do that, especially if you are making it part of following God.

And that's the danger - anytime you do something a little "extra" for God because someone else is doing it, you're potentially beginning some steps toward not trusting and depending on God, but on something else.

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In the '80's it was backward masking of rock music and fighting the devil by fighting sex, drugs, and rock and roll.  

In the '90's it was Focus on the Family and contemporary Christian music.  As the '90's wore on, contemporary Christian music was passed up by the worship music scene and new, edgy church things.

There's always some new product or movement or idea and it's not that any or all of it is bad, but it is tempting to make doing any of those things central or the main thing when it comes to following God.

As we left the 1990's and turned to the 2000's, I'd begun feeling the boring, consumer-driven cycle of the next-new-thing when it came to churches and religion.  

It was becoming nauseating to look down the line and see new things rise up and to look back and see how many late-adopters were just getting on with the last new thing and were excited about it, knowing I needed to help them keep that excitement for a while and get myself versed in the next new thing, knowing everyone was going to be jumping on that wave sooner than later.  It was exhausting.

I think that was probably the beginning of God saying, "See that?  See how that works?  See what's important in all that?  See how much of that lasts?"  It wasn't a rebuke as much as it was an awareness.

As the 2000-20teens wore on, the awareness grew louder - not painfully, but in a way that it was not going to be ignored or passed over.  And at some point, I began asking, "So what does that mean then?"

As I began listening, it was like seeing things I'd never seen before and hearing things I'd not heard before. I won't go into it all now, but it was definitely a refining process and a winnowing out of things.

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Fast forward to now, I look back and see so many things I thought were important were not and are not.  There were times I thought that it was all going to crash down if some things went away.  I was wrong.  

Like a homeowner not wanting to take out a wall in a house out of fear that it's a supporting wall, it turns out that some of that religion/church stuff is only supporting itself and not actual faith in God.

What an amazing relief that was to find all that out. Big stuff. Small stuff. Things you might not imagine and things you for sure knew - a lot of stuff got to go in the dumpster.

Imagine my relief to figure out that Paul and Jesus would probably not enjoy K-Love or anything that passes for "Christian music".  Not saying it's bad at all, but it's certainly NOT central to a life of faith. It can be something that helps a person or blesses them, but it's not meant to be anything more than that.

I was so relieved to get off the "best church service" cycle in which if we can only get the right and best emotional songs, the best heart-touching speakers, and that kind of crap, THEN we'd be better with God.

I could go on with a mountain sized pile of things that "went away" from being a big part of faith expression and growth to being placed in more appropriate spots - as either ancillary or junk.

And the response from some fellow believers was interesting.  I don't think a lot of them knew what to make of it.  For some, the walking away from some religious things felt like I was walking away from God - at least in their minds and from what they said.

I felt some of that mom-style lecture from a few people - you know, the "Would you follow your friends off a cliff?" kinds of reactions.  And I get that - most all of it said out of concern for me and mine.

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And the answer is "yes".  I have learned to walk off a cliff, 100%.  But instead of it being a bad thing, it's been surprisingly better than I could have imagined.  I don't have good words for it, but it's been a good thing.

There's a scene in one of those Indiana Jones movies where he's having to follow some clues to get through a very dangerous passage in some giant caves to get to something to save his dad's life.

He gets to a place where he's got to step off in faith into what looks like falling into a deep ravine and certain death.  He takes a deep breath and steps and finds that it's actually solid ground and not thin air.

That's what a lot of this process has looked like.  And it's been stepping out into thin air that many peers and fellow believers were shouting, metaphorically speaking, "You'll die!  Don't do it!".

And I believe, from their POV, they were 100% honest in saying that.  But from experience, I now see that they were speaking out of love, a lack of knowledge, and fear.  And I get that and appreciate it.

So now, I look back and have words of invitation to those people and say, "It's not what it looks like. It's safe. Maybe it's not for you now, but maybe someday. Thank you for your concern. I'm gonna be okay."

You can walk away from a lot of religious or churchy things.  Your friends will holler in fear and maybe some out of anger, I don't know.  But God is "out there" - he is out here too.  

And you find that “out here” is no different than “in there” when it comes to knowing and walking with God.  I know that is 100% confusing to a lot of people.  More on all that later.

Grace and peace.

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