We have today

I don't think I remember Jesus being anxious about anything. 

Sure, he could get emotional and passionate and act on things, but he wasn't a worrier.

He just knew what he was going to do and did it.

Somehow, that didn't convey early on.

I'm not sure why we learned some of those Jesus stories the way we did. 

It was always more dramatic in presentation than what the scripture actually said.

Like when he and his guys were crossing the sea and a storm came up. They were terrified and he was taking a nap. When they hollered out in fear and essentially accused him of not caring, he sat up and told the storm to stop and told them to chill out.

Anytime I saw artwork or even heard stories being told about this, Jesus was always portrayed as standing up dramatically, appearing in some kind of brighter light/a spotlight, and making some kind of grand, physical gesture like you'd see in a movie - but that's not at all in scripture.

In our attempts to make things real and impressive, we'd made things more dramatic than necessary. We'd created more anxiousness and worry in our attempts to tell stories about not being anxious and not worrying.

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I do not remember being taught any helpful things about worry and being present when I was younger.

I always heard it was sin to worry and that made me worry even more. 

The lesson I usually got was that you won't have to worry if you've worked hard enough to have the things you need - so get to workin'.

Also, you need to plan ahead so that you won't have to worry in the future - so do more and save and invest enough to make that happen to.

Also, you can't know what's going to happen in the future, so you better have a good plan for different possibilities.

Looking back, I don't remember why people taught this kind of thing. It feels like it would have been better to say, "It's all going to be alright. Go enjoy life - work hard, enjoy people, do stuff - figure it out."

Somewhere between the idea that you were a very good candidate for going to hell and trying to avoid poverty, be ready for WW3, and other things that came up in the 70's and 80's, I learned to worry.

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I'm not quite sure of the motivation of well intentioned teachers, but I'm guessing they felt it was probably good to paint with broad brush strokes and make everyone feel pressure for life - the economical way to get everyone motivated at the same time.

Looking back, I know that we all heard those kinds of teachings very differently based on where we were coming from in our home lives and our unique economic, religious, and social backgrounds.

Depending on our mix of variables, some heard those kinds of admonitions about the future as a fun challenge and as a reminder that everything was just in your reach - keep going, you got this!

Others heard it as a forecast of doom - you'll never make it, you don't deserve anything good - you'll serve as an example of what not to do for others, etc.  And a lot of different things in between.

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I'd heard Jesus' words about not worrying while growing up, but they seemed to fit right in with everyone else's words about worrying, usually because of *how* they were taught and the extra flavor of "you're probably going to hell" added on top for extra motivation.

Jesus said things like...

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

And, if I remember correctly, it was basically taught as "See, if you keep on going to church and being a good person, God's gonna give you the basics that you need. So keep up the good work, or else."

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It wasn't until much later when I realized how some people could speak about not worrying because they were saying some of those things from a secure economic position and I was hearing those things from a different economic and social position.  

It's hard to hear a well-off person teach about contentment when it appears they've never been without, at least to your knowledge and experience. But, all things are relative in that sense, so it's hard to fault anyone with poor intent - it's just the way life is/was growing up.

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Later, when I spent a lot of time reading everyone and everything outside of "church people" and religious things - I really wanted to know why people who didn't believe in God, etc were 'that way' - I discovered some Eastern points of view that helped me hear Jesus, scripture, etc very differently.

There's no "Zen" in the Bible as we know it, but hearing from people who didn't grow up in the West, (culturally speaking, not cowboy-West) I learned that some of what Jesus was saying could be heard through a more philosophical ear - that it was a way of being, thinking, and seeing life, internally.

And that was very helpful to hear and know. Jesus was not a Buddhist and Buddha wasn't a "Christian", but there are points of view, practically speaking, that do overlap - not being attached too much to things in this life - that kind of stuff.

So a new flavor experience was unlocked when I learned to hear scripture, God, lessons in life from a point of view and/or a from a different voice - and that Jesus and his disciples didn't have a southern accent or think that my hair should be up off my collar.

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All that to say, as I get older, I am constantly re-learning about being present, being aware but not being panicked, being appreciative of time and processes and not listening to the constant, droning beat of the culture around, demanding we dance for it or threatening us without being "left out" if we don't.

We have today. 

We have this moment.

I've re-learned and am re-learning that *now* is where God lives.

I miss out on him if I'll allow myself to be drawn back into the past or into the uncertainty of the future.

The peace that is present in those *now* moments is amazing.

More about all that soon, but don't wait around. 

Enjoy it now.

Grace and peace.