No going back
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...
Rewiring your brain can be tricky.
Trying to see if you're making progress toward a new direction requires having or creating a new reference group and set of standards by which you can judge success or "a win".
If you constantly go back to the place you're leaving in order to check and see if you're doing good, you're not going anywhere.
It's kind of like this old joke you've probably heard:
The foreman gives the guy a paint brush and a fat bucket of paint and tells the new hire where to paint/begin painting the stripes in the road and off the guy goes.
End of the first day the newbie comes back and tells the foreman he did 10 miles. "Outstanding!" The foreman says. On the second day newbie comes back to the shop at the end of the day and tells the foreman he's done 4 miles. 'Hmm. Not as impressive.' The foreman thinks.
End of the third day the newbie tells his foreman he did one mile. The foreman has to ask, "The first day you did 10 miles, the second day you did 4, and today you only accomplished one measly mile? What gives?"
"Well," The newbie says, "Every day the paint can gets farther and farther away."
__________
When you keep going back, you're not moving forward and each day drags you down quickly.
And that usually includes things like thinking through where you get your ideas about what's good, who's opinion of yourself you're wanting to keep or validate at a high level, and having a good idea of what you're going towards and not simply knowing what you're leaving behind.
Any one of those things that's still based exclusively on what you're leaving behind will not allow you to move forward.
It's kind of like when my son was relaying his "boot camp" experience with the Army - you leave behind everything and have limited to no contact with anyone outside for a long time while you're being run through a whole new schedule and learning a completely new way of life.
No cell phone, no mail for a long time, no free time - no anything that will interfere with what you need to become/in order to be a soldier. And if you break the rules, you have a few warnings, but eventually, you're out - if you keep "going back" and trying to bring the outside/your previous life into the Army.
So either you want it or you don't want it and boot camp is a way of helping you see what you really want or don't want - what you're willing to let go of and leave behind so that you can become someone and something new and different.
When you finish and graduate, you go back home at some point, but you are a new person at a deeper level and/or in a way that is deep and complex.
__________
Doing something like that in order to rewire your brain and/or to be transformed means you're needing to make some big things happen to fully move on and into the next step without going back to ask people or old standards from the past if they approve.
If your drill instructor in the Army has you do 100 pushups, the drill instructor is the one you're listening to for feedback, not your high school teacher or coach, not your parents, not your friends from the past - you're listening to a new person/set of people for approval/feedback for success.
As Paul says in Romans 12:1-2, we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds and it will result in our thinking differently, not simply adding new information to how we already think.
That might be one of the hardest things for a person to submit themselves to. To let go of thinking one way about something and embrace a different way is something that has to be experienced and accepted - you can't just learn about it and witness it, as it were. They are different things.
And unlike boot camp where you have a lot of people telling you each step to take in a loud voice, you have to choose the route you want to go and figure out the steps to take and make yourself do it, even while there are people around you encouraging you to keep doing things they like seeing you do.
You have to learn to shut out/down well meaning voices, including your own, that take you back to a place of ease or temporary comfort or nostalgia, etc.
__________
I remember learning about early explorers who would land on a new place, far from home, and dismantle the ships that got them there, so as to make a new life. There was no way to keep the ships in storage and in good condition for a potential return trip AND to be able to go out and explore and start over.
You can't be double minded, as it were, and still be able to move forward. It's physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually impossible to do both. You can think about different things occasionally, but at some point you have to move in a direction, one way or the other.
__________
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
__________
So, what's getting left behind? "Church" as I used to know it. And with that, a host of things I used to use as standards for success/approval or mirrors to see if I was doing it right:
- The approval or blessing of fellow leaders, members, and even outsiders/guests.
- Church success as a numbers game where church is a business and we're looking at how many "young bucks" or young families with kids we can get in to help us grow a place/people.
- Fitting into "church culture" where you use the same "inside baseball" lingo as everyone, passively referring to some things as being of value which aren't, focusing on "feels" to close the sale, etc.
- "Yes" culture in which you quickly affirm or agree to things because they sound good or spiritual and you want to be liked and so you don't have boundaries for yourself or others.
- Whether or not I use certain vocabulary or standard POV's reflective of my tribe of origin or of what's considered popular or "in" with the ministerial class.
Comments
Post a Comment