Please spank me a little more

This past week, in three different places, I had conversations with people who reflected they or someone they know didn't feel "like they'd been to church" if they didn't feel like they'd had a little hand slapping or guilt handed to them or some variation of that experience.

Another couple of people mentioned that even though they don't believe that God holds sin against us anymore and that we're fully accepted by God, etc - that just being around a certain kinds of groups of believers causes those feelings to surface powerfully because of what's sung, passing comments, etc.

I gotta be honest and say I don't know what to do or think about that. It is true that, because of the momentum of life and religious traditions, we don't often think about examining what we say, pray, or sing or even allow to be taught as truth.

We often just sit in buildings once or twice a week and passively interact and engage with the others present and, unless someone does or says something really crazy or different, we let it all slide by because it's what we've always heard or always done - "surely we're not being misled - surely it's all good".

When it gets to the point that people expect to be "beaten up a little at church", we've gotten to the point of being a little sick in our thinking and expectations of our time together - and that is 100% usually something that shows what we think about God and what he thinks of us.

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Please forgive us.

It's the most common thing I hear in prayers that causes me to cringe more and more.  God already forgave all sin forever and Jesus isn't dispensing it to us every time we apologize and "ask for it" - it's already been given and is not an issue.

It makes me think about when guys would pray over the communion bread and, as part of their prayer say, "Please forgive us of our sins" and then go pass the bread plates and come back to the front and pray for the communion cup and AGAIN say, "Please forgive us of our sins" before passing the cups.  

What exactly were they doing back there in the back of the building after passing the bread?  Were they sinning?  What was their sin?  No, they weren't.  That kind of praying and talking about sin is just an unexamined habit that was let alone long enough that it's become part of the DNA of Christian language.

There's nothing more important than church.

Really?  Are our formal organizations and their created commitments more important than what God has done for us in Jesus?  And then, a part of the blanket of guilt for "not going" is "well, you know you'll always feel better after you went ahead and went to church - you're always glad you did."

Hmmm.  No, that's not exactly a universal truth.  That's some old-school gaslighting language designed to make a person feel even guiltier for not being glad they went even though they didn't want to - it's an attempt to make you question your own reality so you'll accept theirs.

And that's not exactly what scripture says about "church", but it is a convenient way to make sure that people buy into our current cultural expression of groups gathering regularly for the purpose of keeping the excitement going for groups gathering regularly.  Gathering doesn't automatically make it "church".

There's a lot of stuff going on.  Check the bulletin and get involved.

Discipleship through dominating your calendar? Does that work really? Sometimes I wonder if I missed a class in Bible college about that.  I really do 100% get that churches and ministries need to justify their existence and funding by providing things to do and helping people get connected and "loved on".

I know there's never an easy way to say, "We know that you all have different lives and schedules and commitments on top of what we plan so please pick out what you feel God is leading you to do and if none of what we're doing is the answer, so be it."  But maybe try saying it and see what happens.

Nine times out of ten, the very people you don't want to lay more guilt on top of are the very ones who will feel it more than anyone else in the room.  If you know that and keep laying it on anyway and never adjust how and what you say, that's a very sad and very bad thing you are doing.

God is going to bless you as you bless him/the church.

That's a Ponzi scheme or pyramid scheme.  Yes, there's a great deal of emotional blessing that can come from being part of something bigger than ourselves and contributing to the growth of a community, but don't make up "blessings" and promise them to people - that's just disingenuous. 

"You gotta keep giving and work at doing it more so all the time if you want to keep the blessings coming".  And what's the giving for?  Who's making up the things we're giving the money for?  When will someone say, "You've given enough!" or "Some of you have given all you can; we're not talking to you."?

Giving for the poor/those who couldn't take care of themselves and the occasional support for Paul and others who spent their life teaching the gospel, leading others, etc is what we see in scripture.  Nothing wrong with any of that or even having a building, etc.  But let it be a sacrifice, not a fake exchange.

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I could make a long list of things I've heard that weigh heavy on church goers.  And when I talk to some of them individually about the unnecessary burdens some of them carry, there's often a fleeting glimpse of hope, followed up with a list of reasons/teachings they remember they "have to" follow.

It's just deep in our DNA. And if you get someone who genuinely wants to think about it and study on it more, most often there's a point at which they say, "Well, I'm gonna ask pastor what he thinks about..." and that's usually the end of it all.  And that's fine.  We have to go where we have to go, I guess.

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. Everything they do is done for people to see'." (Jesus in Matthew 23)

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It is for freedom that we have been set free from The Law.  No need to submit to another set of laws or suggestions made up by people with really good intentions.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  And it's usually a pretty short trip.

Feel free to "go to church" but remember that what we say in our time about "going to church" is not what the early church was doing back in the first century.  Go and be a blessing and be blessed, but if it's a place and time that is bringing up things that God is finished with, move on and live in freedom!

You'll be fine.

Grace and peace.

12/25