Visiting a church after starting deconstruction & rebuilding

It's not a sexy title, but it's what it is.  What I've noticed some months into formally separating from "church" as employment and as "just a member" and now visiting a "church" as a visitor.

Insider language - it's all over the place.  If you're an established church wanting to make sure you're connecting with people who are already familiar with church and religious concepts, you're probably good to go.  

If you're at all wanting to connect with people who don't have any or much connection with those things to start with, you're probably going to have a hard time understanding how much of what you say "up front" and in your songs, illustrations, etc are loaded up with insider language.

Yesterday, when visiting a worship service, the preacher was saying so many things - and very quickly at that, it was like I was listening to a podcast on 1.5 or 2x speed - he was saying so many things that required a person to already know so many other things to understand. I nearly laughed out loud at the thought that anyone - maybe even many of the "insiders" around me - would be able to catch what it was they were saying.

Those I've visited so far are great at connecting with the already churched.  They might hit a lucky streak and run into some visitors who have had enough pop culture exposure to religion that they connect with some of the things said, but if they're attempting at all to connect or communicate with anyone new to faith, they're wasting their time.

Don't get me wrong - that's okay if that's what a church wants to do.  And maybe that should be the thing - just be happy with connecting with your people who are already your people.  

If you're wanting to do more/deeper and/or connect with people who are newer to faith, try doing 1 Corinthians 11-14 kinds of things and not so much the Branson entertainment approach to a seamless, staged production. 

I would bet your "insider" people would learn and grow a lot more that way, over time, but it would be way too disruptive to the efficiency of the way things are done, so...probably not.  

It also would put a larger burden the staff/leaders because it would raise so many questions and topics that are currently and conveniently easy to avoid and never discussed because of the way things are done "in church" these days.

Who are these people and why are there here?  I've actually enjoyed the anonymity of visiting churches as "nobody".  As I was discussing with my wife, even though you, in theory, want your current members/people to connect with visitors, it's been nice that few have.  The exception being when we've visited places where we already have friends from the past. And it was very nice to see them!

I can see the trepidation that many people have looking at me and my crew as we walk in the door.  I can see the hopeful looks that some have - that eye contact hook where some people who are actually "on task" are looking for faces of people they don't know in order to connect.

For the most part, people including myself like to be able to get in and get back out without committing to a connection.  The freedom to scan the crowd, watch other people interact, assess whether or not you feel comfortable with "these people" - all that can be helpful in making a person feel safe and/or comfortable.

The nervous energy I pick up from those who actually do reach out to meet you as a visitor can be off the charts.  Some people who reach out to meet you "feel" good as people, oddly speaking, and you can assess or sense that they really do seem like they're just saying "Hey, I am glad to meet you, etc".  Others make you feel like you've walked into a vampire convention on your way to donate blood.

So yeah, that whole 1 Corinthians 14 thing is important again, probably. Paul is making it pretty clear there that when believers gather, everything needs to be done in a way that no one is having to guess about what's going on - and that is super helpful both to believers and those who don't yet believe.

What's our message?  That's been a big mixed bag so far, depending on the tradition we were visiting that Sunday.  Some have had a slightly stronger emphasis on one thing or another - tribal tradition, community, Jesus, being good, confessing sin, following Christian tradition, etc - but most have been invested in making sure you know you need to be a part of the church and come back every week, hopefully more.

So the baseline message across the board is - you need us to be able to tell you about God and if you're not with us, you probably are unaware of what God is wanting from you and of how you should be spending your time - 100%, that's the baseline.  

Oh, and God IS 100% wanting you to be here with us - that's a big part of what he wants out of you, maybe the biggest part.  The message is church, not necessarily God or the good news.

I know that it is so very hard for some to see that there is a difference, but there IS a difference.

__________

So, yeah - on the Sundays we're not traveling or working, we're still checking out places/people.  We do miss some community, but also realize that the basis for community is more important than simply having community.  It's nice being around people who are pleasant, agreeable, safe, and that you feel aren't trying to rob you, at least overtly.

Still believe in God.  Still believe that the good news is that the life that was lost in Adam/the Garden through sin is/has been restored through Jesus - that Jesus made our sin problem go away and that no sin is held against us anymore.  But that isn't salvation!  Salvation is trusting and depending on him and what he's done in Jesus - accepting that it's true so that his Spirit will come and live within us forever. 

And that's what he's done and where we stand.  

Grace and peace.