Seasons & self-correcting errors

"When I criticize the system, they think I criticize them, and that is of course because they fully accept the system and identify themselves with it." - Thomas Merton

It's easy to take things personally when you feel very deeply that you are being devalued. Sometimes it is valid and you are being devalued. 

But sometimes we take things personally that are not necessarily aimed at us, but they feel aimed at us because we own those "things" so deeply as a reflection of ourselves.

If someone critiques family, religion, politics, or anything thing or any version of such that we embrace, we can take it personally as if our choices or our inherited place in life as being under attack.

And that's normal and fine. 

One of the features of deconstructing and rebuilding I've struggled with and still are working through is this dynamic of learning to step outside yourself to attempt to see your place and your "self" objectively.

I'm guessing it's probably impossible to do it to any full extent and that we only get a glimpse of someone who is a stranger when we have moments of clarity.

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As I've watched and interacted with people regarding a variety of topics in the past few whiles, I've noticed that we all typically lean into our feelings and fears and reject any attempts at hearing "logic".

And that's probably pretty normal since our eyes or vision is shaped and sharpened by those things that make us. 

Like when you see other cars just like yours after you buy a car - and you didn't see them before.

Like when you walk through a store or a mall or some crowd and you only see a limited set of people - often those who are safe or attractive and vice versa - and many people you don't "see" at all.

Our logic or radar that tells us what's important to pay attention to is often set up to only see what we believe to be right or true as right or true and nothing else can be right or true without upsetting our world.

And it is true that some people develop their own worlds in which they create, often in concert with others, an alternate reality that demands that the world at large accept as real their ideas, concepts, etc.

As hard at it seems to believe, it is possible to set aside your own reality and to step into someone else's and see their "logic" or how they got to where they are and what they believe.

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It can be holy ground to stand someplace you weren't aware of. It's a special thing to stand on a place you weren't before, just by adjusting your mind and your perception.

It can also be incredibly jolting to see some large foundational stones that you have and someone else doesn't have or vice versa - how your realities are completely different in some ways.

It can be an exercise in finding common ground, even if it's limited, with someone whose world - maybe even next door to you - is a completely different world.

Sometimes it's possible and sometimes it is extremely challenging.  Sometimes it might even be impossible. 

If, for example, you and your neighbor see the property line between your yards differently, you can openly disagree about your opinions about what you think and what you believe.

Maybe you agree split the cost to have a survey done to officially show the line.  If it turns out to favor you and your neighbor doesn't like it they might pay for their own survey and get someone to favor them.

And then you don't like that so you pay for your own to get someone to favor your version of the property line. 

And if that doesn't work, one or both of you decide to make your own "right way" to measure things. Etc.

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We get to a point where we see that "facts" that we like are good and factual if they back us up and not good if they don't and so we go in search of our own or even create our own.

More recently - and I mean in the past ten or so years - more people than not have begun saying something to the effect of "Well, I don't care about 'facts' anymore anyway. What I want is ____ and I WILL have it."

And any kind of common ground or reason goes out the window and is replaced with the law of the jungle - relying on "facts" only if they're their version of facts and, if they're not, insulting anyone who'd believe contradicting "facts".

Merton had the luxury of living in a time - at least from where we sit - when there were fewer options and less freedom of thought and speech and much less volume of ideas, inventions, etc to consider. I think he might be surprised at the exponential increase in "systems".

Culture has reached the point where there is a fundamental disagreement about what is reality, what is good or bad, and what is considered to be "the right way" to think about anything.

Of those who claim to hold on to some kind of "right way" that has existed for more than a few centuries, they struggle with communicating with those who are creating their new ways on the spot.

Those who come from older paths assume goodwill of anyone they speak with but goodwill is an assumption that doesn't exist with the new. Goodwill actually is a thing to use against those who have it.

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In the days ahead, as the "debates" over different topics arise, know that some do not hold your same worldview, reality, definitions of good/bad, etc. And they definitely "fight" differently - no rules allowed.

Know that there are times to engage IF someone seems genuinely open to discussion of reality, etc BUT that there are times simply to love people by wishing them well and walking away.

The best response to many things is no response, no attention.  Just do your thing and don't entertain the other at all.  Things will unfold on their own and it is better to invest in profitable things.

So many things that are popular or that appear to be gaining a foothold in the world around us are genuinely self-correcting errors that NEED to be allowed to play out and fix themselves.

The desire to fix everyone and control everything is what gets a lot of people to a place where they become the very thing they despise.

Enjoy the moments of life.  See the good and bad.  Like seasons, people and culture have cycles they must go through. All we "control" is how we react and set ourselves up for the next wave.

Peace and goodwill.