An occasional missing ingredient from "church"

"Where will you go if you die tonight?" 

"This week as we're all trying to let Jesus be the focus of our life, we surrender our..."

"Let go and let God."

"Share Jesus with people this week by..."

"Be obedient to God in everything..."

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Time to reflect on what something means is important for believers.

It might go without saying, but I believe it's probably a critical thing now of days. Time to hear what is said and then a little more time to "get" what it means in the context of your own life and times.

Usually a room full of people with no time for Q/A are rushed through a program of activities and then set loose on the world to go believe, do, and follow up on what they were, in theory, supposed to have been hearing, considering, and mentally putting away in their schedule for the coming day or week.

I don't think that happens with the clarity or regularity that people imagine. We assume too much about what people hear, understand, and apply to their life.

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Using the above list I've collected from recent conversations as some examples of what that means:

1. "Where will you go if you die tonight?" - This one assumes you've set up a scenario in which, among the people listening in the room, they know what you're talking about and agree with you that there are essentially two options - heaven or hell and you better pick right now before we leave the building or else.

Most of the time these days, people don't make decisions like that in public, on the spot, under pressure. Do some? Sure, but among those are typically people who make quick decisions about a lot of things in life without lasting or healthy results.

I've often, in the past, seen this result in setting those people up for failure because we want to have a quick decision so WE feel good about what we said or did. We made the sale, it's up to them to know "buyer beware".  We might scare them away from a hell, but don't connect them with God's love.

2. "This week as we're all trying to let Jesus be the focus of our life, we surrender our..." - This one assumes that people know what it is to have anything at all as the focus of their life and that they've chosen Jesus and understand, even basically, what that means.

No, just no. People don't necessarily know what that means. They often don't have an idea of what it means to have focus in their life at all - most are just trying to survive and hope one day to thrive within the system they're trying to earn a living and meaning in.

Go back to the even more basic ideas and help them understand themselves first and THEN talk about the good news of God that comes through Jesus and help them make a more basic and meaningful connection rather than feeling like you've succeeded because you've shared some nice religious phrases eloquently.

3. "Let go and let God." - It sounds good. I've even said it before. But there are times when it means nothing at all except, "I don't know how to answer your specific question, so let me say some magic sounding words that will confuse you long enough for me to be able to leave".

What we want to say is, "The situation is hard and confusing. I don't have wisdom from God about that." But we're are afraid NOT have an answer for fear that we're gonna let someone walk away from us thinking less of us or of God, so we say, "Let go and let God" and usually leave no room for follow up.

If we say something like that, we need to go on to say what it might look like for them to "let go", meaning "here are some things you probably need to stop doing" and then "let God", meaning "here are some things God says or promises that might be helpful". Get specific and try to leave less confusion.

4. "Share Jesus with people this week by..." - As I've said before in other contexts, Jesus is not a Pez dispenser, passing out good things when we tap him on the head. And neither are we. There's an overarching assumption that every moment of our lives is to be evangelistic in some way.

Sure, God uses our lives so others can see him as we live. But that's on God, not on me or you. He might open a door (aka conversation) where someone might want to know "Why are you like you are?" and you can share the hope you have within you and, perhaps, share Jesus with them.

Remind people to be open for opportunities to talk with others, but also just to know that God doesn't just expect them to "always be selling" like the Glengarry Glen Ross movie where the room of sales people are cruelly berated and threatened with termination. Life with God is more than "church sales". Way more.

5. "Be obedient to God in everything..." - What does that mean? Is that the 10 Commandments? Is that the 600+ commands listed in the Old Covenant? Is that "the red letters" of Jesus in the gospels? Is that all that Paul, Peter, and James said too?  Or is that all the above and whatever the church leaders say too?

This is often left intentionally vague so that people will feel an umbrella of condemnation that allows no escape and, in reality, the assumption that you're probably going to need a little extra shot of the threat of being displeasing to God to keep you in life for your whole life. It's heresy, it's wrong, it's terrible.

Say what you mean by that. Give context so that the person who is actually listening knows what you're trying to insinuate. When you don't, what you're saying is, "I don't think you're serious about following God because if you did, you'd be more perfect like me and the other perfect people at church".

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So what do collections of believers need when they gather - at least on a semi-regular basis? Time to reflect on what something means for them.

Have some questions and answers time. Allow for other people at "different places in their walk with God" to share how the topic sounds to them and what they're hearing or taking away from it.

Trust that God will speak through other people and that other people who are believers are an adequate mouthpiece for God to use to share wisdom in a way that more people can hear.

If you're a leader and your tendency is to need to have the last word, resist that. At most, affirm very briefly what someone else said that is helpful and leave it alone. God doesn't need your summary.

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All this comes from recent conversations with my youngest child after I pick him up from his church activities, from our Sunday AM and Thursday PM group gatherings, and from general conversations I have with people online and in person.

People need time to unpack what they already know and think and THEN have time to hear what God might want them to know and THEN have time to see some possible examples of how that information might play out or work in their life while they're at home, school, in traffic, etc.

For some gatherings of believers, that might mean you need to have longer gathering times OR, probably more appropriate these days, talk about just a few things and let those few things get explored more deeply and with better understanding before leaping off into some next point.

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Individual believers can benefit themselves by doing the same thing personally, on their own time. Make time to think about your life as a whole. Consider how God fits into it your life and how you fit into the big picture of God. Write down some core things or important things and keep track of it over time.

Too much that is way too important gets treated with passing indifference in "churches" and in the lives of individuals. We wouldn't have much of the New Testament without Paul and others writing some stuff down. Don't discount the wisdom God is sharing with you and how it could and will benefit others later.

And when you're sharing with other people - you know, that magical time when God opens a door and someone actually has a spiritual conversation with you - give them that same base level discussion and feedback time. Some of us might plant seeds, others might water those seeds. GOD will cause growth.

Grace and peace.