A squeaky toy, scriptures, & church

I was packing an overnight bag recently for a speaking engagement and when I came across my shaving kit/the bag you put your toothbrush, cologne and such in, I found a squeaky toy from several years back.

It gave me pause for a moment - how did that get there?  And why is it there now?

Then I remembered back three or four years when we'd got a dog toy that had a squeaky thing in it that dogs like to squeeze and that can make it more fun to play with.

After having it out for about ten minutes, our dogs had tussled over who'd play with it and had a little tug of war and then tore it open and the squeaker fell out.  And then they wanted that!

So as to keep them from playing with it and swallowing it, I put it on a shelf in our bedroom with the intention of seeing if it could be put back in later and sewed in such a way that it wouldn't fall out.

As time goes by, it got moved from the bedroom and into the bathroom for some reason. And after a while, it got moved from the bathroom counter and into my shaving kit bag so we wouldn't lose it.

And there it sat, forgotten about until just recently.

The toy it came out of is long gone and forgotten. But there it was - the squeaker - preserved and out of place, likely moved around several times over the years in order to find something else in the bag.

It brought to mind some wisdom a former co-worker reminded me of years ago - that the Israelites used to clean out their house - take everything out - at least once a year, to cleanse it of yeast or leaven and...well dirt, etc.

That made me look around at all the stuff we have in our house that, in some places, is stacked up, to be sorted and gone through "some day" - and this is a little over four years after we moved into our current house.

If we're not somewhat aware of ourselves and our habits, we accumulate a lot of stuff.  

Stuff that we forget about.  Stuff that we don't appreciate anymore.  Stuff we're surprised is there.  

And so it's good to clean out occasionally to know what you have and don't have.  

Sometimes it's good to do that so you can think through, "Why did I buy that?  What was I thinking or valuing when I made that purchase?  Why did we put it there?  What was I hoping?"

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In the places I am invited to speak to occasionally, it has been good to listen to the language we use as a faith community and to be able to ask questions to help others process what they think and believe.

It's helpful for me too!  There are times that others ask questions or say things that ring a bell in my head about church things or beliefs we have or things we do in "church services" and so on.

We, or maybe it's mainly me, often take a lot of things for granted and assume people know and think the same things or similar things as we do.

As time has gone by, I've found that we do often, when we take the time to do so, realize we do think and believe differently.  And, for the most part, it's been a joy to watch people grow in their understanding of God, scripture, and each other.

One recent example from several weeks back in our Sunday group was about some topics I can't even remember, but in the flow of conversation, one of our group members brought up their occasional frustration in the past when someone said, "You just need to let go and let God", when they were struggling with something.

Out of that revelation, we had several minutes of talking about what it might mean when people say that phrase.  I'm summarizing a lot here, but we basically came up with a few options:

1) It could be a convenient and easy way to get off a topic that someone doesn't want to address

2) It could be a heartfelt phrase the person saying it assumes the person hearing it understands

3) It could be something that a person heard in the past, thought it sounded good, and they repeat it because it seems to fit in some conversations - it seems to be the right thing to say

And we talked about how it is used a lot for a lot of different situations and that it's NOT a bad thing to say, but that a lot of times it is helpful to unpack it further and:

1) Give an example of what they mean when they say "let go". Perhaps a person is trying to do something that is not what scripture would suggest is a good way of handling a situation and they need to let go of what they're trying to do.  

2) Give an example of what they mean when they say "let God". Maybe tell the person, "Instead of doing this thing you've been doing, try this thing that scripture says to do in those kinds of situations". For example, instead of ruminating over something you're angry about, consider forgiving and moving on.

You could come up with a lot of examples that would fit that - but the basic idea was, explain it a little more.  Don't assume that the person you're saying words to understands what you're saying or "gets it". 

You don't have to belittle them by assuming they don't know anything, but you can take a moment or two to make sure you're helping and not further confusing them.

Going back to the original example - help them (and maybe yourself) figure out or remember why that squeaky toy is in your shaving kit.  Don't assume that if someone reached in your shaving kit and pulled it out that they'd understand why it's there.  They probably wouldn't.

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In my religious tribe, I've heard it said many times over decades that it's cool or good or whatever that you can walk into any of "our buildings" and know you're going to have the same experience where ever you happen to be.  Same songs, prayers, communion, sermons, teaching, etc - generally speaking.

And that's pretty much true.  I've been to Europe and seen that.  I've seen that in Central and South America.  I've heard that same thing is experienced from many other countries, states, etc.

"We" get it because we grew up in it or have been "inside" for a long time and have learned the language and know how to go with the flow.

And yet, I've seen many times over my life when "insiders" had a hard time explaining something and would repeat back something they've heard, but weren't sure of what it meant at a core or basic level.

I remember when I was in middle school I invited an acquaintance with me to worship services one Sunday AM. He was down from "up North" and staying a few weeks during the summer with this grandparents, right across the street from my house.

He came from either a Catholic or other "high church" background and wasn't familiar with any other religious tradition, apparently.

All through the worship service, he'd lean over to me and, in a not very quiet whisper, ask a lot of questions about what was going on during each part.

"Where's the piano or organ?"

"Where's the kneeling bench?"

"Why isn't your priest wearing robes?"

"Why don't you have stained glass?"

"How long does this guy talk anyway?"

"Why is that lady's hair so tall?"

And it went on like that for a while.  Finally, during the communion (back when we had it after the sermon), he leaned over when "the cracker" plate came by and said, "What is this?  Is this supposed to be a snack or something?"

Needless to say, I didn't have a lot of good answers for him. I tried to whisper answers back, but it wasn't much help.  I gave "pat answers" I'd always heard, but they didn't help.  

There was too much learning to be done with too little time and, most likely, not much interest beyond knowing some trivia or just having a base level of understanding things he'd not seen before.

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I remember leaving that experience frustrated that he couldn't just enjoy the service I was enjoying.  In my mind, I was thinking, "How do you not know these things?  Doesn't everyone have at least some base knowledge of what we're doing?"

And honestly, I'm guessing if a lot of other people had been placed in that situation, they might not have fared any better.  Maybe some would be able to say things more clearly or easily, hard to know.  Maybe some would have had an even harder time explaining things.

It was a revelation, even at that young age, that everyone is at a different place on their spiritual journey and just because they're sitting next to you doesn't mean they share common ground in terms of ideas, beliefs, experiences, etc.

Given the opportunity, a lot of people DO pick up deeper meanings and marvel at the different parts of their faith they'd not considered before.  

That's a vision of a goal I've picked up a little more clearly from all this deconstruction and rebuilding process for myself - help people grow in their understanding.  Allow people to help me grow in my understanding.  

Create opportunities or allow the Spirit to orchestrate opportunities that I recognize to have spiritual conversations in which God shows up, at his pace, and leads a person to where he wants them to go next in their journey with him.

Remember that it is all intended to be an "organic" thing that the Spirit leads the way, not simply a local church's vision or a few people's vision, etc.  Those are fine and good in context, but they're not a replacement for God working on and in the heart of a person.

Gifts and learning and growing and all that stuff comes through God's people sitting around scripture, sharing what God is showing them as they live lives of trust and dependence on him.

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May the Lord bless you as this new year continues to unpack.  May you find your own squeaky toys, spiritually speaking, and discover what God has already blessed you with.

Grace and peace.