The new way forward is old

Change is hard. Or at least it can be. Old habits and patterns of thinking step in as if they still have the final say in anything. The new, chosen directions and ways of thinking need regular support and permission to own the way forward.

I still regularly dream of people and situations "at church" some of it good, some of it not. I still occasionally have the old feelings of "Oh, I messed up and need to ask for forgiveness for _____."  I still wonder what people would think of how I think and believe.

Leaving behind is a choice. Moving forward it a choice. 

One thing I've discovered about those choices is that you must move in action on them daily, if not hourly at times. If you don't get up in the AM and choose how you think, remember what is important, and do something about it, it's so easy to step back those comfortable shoes that take you nowhere.

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Leaning forward into some familiar scriptures more lately - all those that speak to being renewed in your mind, putting on a new mind, filling your mind with the good, etc.  

In that process, I realize more how many layers there are to the process - so many more than you imagine at the start of it. Just when you think you've got some big things down, you realize what's holding up those things and how you need to address those things and be renewed in how you see them too.

Deconstruction and rebuilding go hand in hand. At least for me. I know plenty of people who deconstruct with no idea of where they want to land and allow whatever comes their way, usually exclusively emotion and trauma, lead the process.

For some people, it's a necessary journey. They have to work through all that stuff because it will cloud their vision forever if they don't. They have to yell and scream at the wall until they finally realize they're yelling and screaming at themselves.

Once you get to that point, a lot more good can happen and more rebuilding can take place.

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One thing I see consistently through scripture, especially the New Covenant side of it, is that a lot of the disagreements, power struggles, and such exist in people who want to follow God because they haven't worked through a lot of the basics.

When the writer of Hebrews talks about how people should be "move advanced" but are stuck in religious rules and rituals, I get it a little more now.  People get stuck performing for God and each other and haven't yet rested in grace. As a result, it's a constant cycle of trying hard, failing, competing, etc.

It's exhausting trying to earn God's love and to co-dependently work at making church people happy and/or work at getting them to make you happy. At some point it kills you inside and you either walk away or see the need for God's grace like you never did before.

We're at another weird point in history for a lot of people who are doing that process. Between church politics and regular politics and the cultural shifts happening, a lot of people are being uprooted and given the opportunity to see differently.

I pray regularly for grace to let it happen and to allow God to work so that I don't ever think it's about me and how much I can control anything - that's just craziness and causes people to try and carry a load only God can.

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It's not happened yet, but I see a time coming when a big institutional hit will come and people will have to think through a relationship with God as a movement/lifestyle/worldview versus a relationship with God through a church building focused group of people.

Maybe God has a hand it that happening, I don't know. Maybe it's just the fruit of history squeezing out what's there under the weight of structures and processes not designed to bear such burdens.

From what I've seen so far, when people are pushed out to that place, they look for answers just about anywhere, but often turn back to the institutional church things for next-step answers only to roll in the mud again with representatives who have one answer, "Come back! Repent!".

So that's been interesting to watch.

I see a collection of people and groups who are working at being "organic" again - trying to see if God's Spirit will lead them through the process.  I am very interested in the good things I'm hearing in those smaller collections.

At the moment, it seems as if those are places and groups where "the outsider" is welcomed and has a place to explore, listen, and maybe even reject the good news of Jesus, without feeling like they're also having to please and/or be accepted by the people there.

There's a peace in knowing God is the one at work in his message and that it doesn't depend on how well we dance in front of him or each other.

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That fine line between spiritual things and physical or social things is tough. I can see all through Paul's writings how he had to wrestle with the people who were new believers to get them to leave behind the old social structures and lean into God's Spirit to guide them into a new way of being.

It's hard to walk into any church building these days and not see the same old social hierarchy at work with people trying to get something for themselves, shore up their positions and comforts, etc. 

The look on people's faces is often that they know there's more, but they don't know what or how to get it. The assumption is often "just throw yourself into church and you'll be blessed". Sometimes that is true for some people and often it is not.

The blessing for many people is the affirmation they get from the others for "throwing themselves into church".  Those aren't bad things, but they are temporary and fleeting.  They require a regular "fix" from being around other religious people and doing religious things.  

But they often don't provide strength, encouragement, and other lasting things for life - a larger story in which a person can see life that is beyond a building and a day, meaning for their day to day life, enjoyment of "the regular stuff", a sense of calm and peace with God who loves them, etc.

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So that's where we are. Still hosting a gathering and being part of other gatherings, but haven't "found a church yet". Working at being people who walk in trust and dependence on God, not just looking to hook up with an established religious group so that people feel better about us.

Oh, and also looking to share that good news with others as well.  

I've been really amazed lately to see some new people come into the groups we're part of and to watch people be able to ask questions, explore, etc.

If those kinds of people were to have walked into previous church settings, I'd have been "over the moon" that we got some people interested in church!  

Now of days, I'm really interested and excited to see God at work in their lives, even if they don't stay part of "our group" because I can see they're interested in him and not just fitting in.

It's interesting.

Grace and peace to you all!