Back in the 70's, it was pretty common for my mom to buy a LOT of a certain kind of fabric and make everyone in the family clothing that matched.
Or maybe you went to someone's home and found out that they cleaned or cooked "the wrong way" - wrong because you weren't used to that way
Or maybe they had a whole lot more or a whole lot less than your family had in terms of possessions or money. And as a result, they lived differently than your family - maybe a little or maybe a lot differently.
Families do that. Families often develop their own unique culture which might overlap and extend to communities or other families they are close to - from the average to the strange.
Churches and religious groups are like that too. They have their own characteristics or traditions that you grow up with and likely assume are the norm and wonder "Why would anyone do something different?".
If you've visited around in religious groups or churches, you've experienced some differences - maybe some more formal and others WAY less formal and more charismatic in their gathering times/"services".
Some are more progressive or liberal and very welcoming of anyone except those who are conservative. Some are more focused on preaching and morality and might be critical of those who like social causes.
Some are less focused on certain teaching and are more of a community with similar backgrounds and networks of relationships. Some are more of a Branson-style music show each Sunday when they gather.
The range of differences in churches, like the range of differences in kinds of families, is vast and any attempt here to summarize would be weak at best - but you get the picture - there are differences!
Like a lot of things in life, getting a sense of what's going on "inside" a family or local church can be important. Not everyone does that - and some do so reluctantly or because they're forced to.
When I did more relationship and marriage counseling in my "pastor" days, it was interesting to counsel young couples to help them explore their family history so they each knew what they were bringing to the new relationship or marriage they were forming.
It's interesting to see the looks on people's faces when they learn someone actually thinks differently and does something differently on purpose because they think that is the better way to do it or think about it.
With couples, some are surprised to learn their prospective spouse thinks certain jobs are "women's work" or that a little cheating is okay or that they don't want kids.
With churches, some are surprised to find out that others don't believe if you don't do certain things a certain way, you'll go to Hell because you're making God mad.
All those differences grow over time. What seems normal to one person or group now usually started off as something that was new and different long ago and some people latched on to it and it grew.
Like roots that grow and break up a parking lot or sidewalk, changes come into people around us and, if accepted, grow and undermine or break loose other things you'd never have imagined being broken.
The families, churches, schools, government bodies, or other institutions we experience have changed dramatically. Our great grandparents would have a hard time recognizing what happens or exists today.
When an older person says, "I remember when this was all farm land/forest" when driving through a city, you probably can't appreciate the changes they've seen - for better or worse.
No changes are permanent - only change itself is permanent. As soon as you think something you're around will always be around, wait a bit - at some point, it will change more than you might think.
As we've worked through a lot of different, new perspectives over the last couple of years -- having stepped away from full-time church work and what our personal future holds with God and people -- in that time we've thought a LOT about what all that change around us means.
It's tempting to want to "start something" and re-create a church or community experience similar to what we'd had over the years. We do miss community at times - the larger, habitual, comfortable, known community. But remaining in that would have come at too great a cost.
And currently, we're spending a little more time being thoughtful about what else God might have in store for people who trust and depend on him. Instead of re-creating the wheel, wait and see if other kinds of transport are developing we've not imagined because we don't see what God sees, yet.
One thing is for sure - the more we watch and pay attention to what is "out here", the more we see that we've not imagined before.
There are people and situations we've had opportunity to be around and in that I'm pretty sure God has shown us and been like, "See that? Keep watching. There's more. Don't assume I'm asking you do something about it all the time - watch and learn and let me show you some things."
I'm honestly more than flabbergasted at times at the bubbles he pops. And I'm grateful that he has taken a lot of time and great care to make sure we were ready for it.
More on all that soon...maybe. Maybe not soon. We'll see what God shows.
Peace and goodwill.
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