The crowd of deconstructionists
It probably was going on a lot but I just didn't see it until the last few months because of the algorithms on social media - now it seems like everyone is doing it.
Yes, there's a good bit of hyperbole there with "everyone", but that's the nature of algorithms - to reinforce what you have posted about and connect you with other, similar things or posts.
The difference I've noticed with all the new people on TikTok, Instagram, X, and Facebook is how many people who are or "have already" deconstructed are heading out into new and different directions.
A good number have thrown scripture and tradition as a whole out the window and are making their own thing entirely. Maybe using scripture or Jesus as a springboard for their ideas, but that's about it.
Some are simply throwing churches and religion in general under the bus and using their deconstruction experience to talk about abuse, trauma, and, essentially vengeance and destruction.
Others are working through how a belief in something spiritual or God or "church" can be seen as viable or real and workable or practical in view of what they've experienced and seen so far. That's my camp.
Cognitively, I know it's part of the normal cycle of things inside of religion and culture - a) reaction to what's present, b) corrections made or new directions taken, and c) rinse and repeat every 30+ years or so.
It's a different ride when you're on the inside of it and wondering what's next and/or choosing which path you'll be taking in the middle of so many other things going on.
It's been a little over 2 and a half years since "went public" with my process. That was probably at the point I was privately at least 5-10 years in wrestling with it all and keeping it to myself and a few others.
In a few more months, probably at the 3 year public mark, I believe I'll be ready to take a strong look around and assess what the process is, where it's come from, and where it's going.
The internal ride is way more of a roller coaster than the external ride, though each feed the other. I still 100% believe in God, ancient literature that guides, and walking with people on that journey.
I believe God is at work now, like he always is, and that guessing what it is he's doing is trying to see what a jigsaw puzzle is going to look like when about 15-25% of the pieces are joined together.
Not everyone needs to or is going to go at that kind of process or are even interested in it. And that's perfectly fine. Some can't avoid it, even if they wanted to - it's just not going to leave them alone.
Some are 100% going to avoid it and work hard at being "magnanimous" and try to avoid taking too much of a side, so that they can keep their feet in both or multiple camps at once. They can't afford otherwi$e.
I can't say I've enjoyed all of the process. Parts of it have been good and liberating. Parts have been devastating as sources of identity, meaning, and purpose are stripped away and left vacant for the moment.
I can still go into some church services and feel "at home" and, with others, I cannot. I can read some authors and/or fellow journey takers and find kinship, and, with others, I cannot.
I hope, in returning to the writing part with some diligence, I can begin to wrap up some things - not to say "I'm done" or "It's over", but to have a good bit more clarity for myself and others who journey.
And I assume and/or hope that God's guiding the process as some of us wander around in the desert for a bit, looking for the next river crossing or burning bush or still small voice.
Either way, we're not alone. He's always there and always working, even if it's not in ways we're yet aware of or in directions we're looking.
Peace and goodwill.
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