What it looks like from the outside in

I've found that a lot of people who want to understand those who are deconstructing only understand it if you "come at them" with how they are seen as "the church".  At least initially.  For some, it's a wake up to find out that it's not just people deciding to "go off and sin" or "become atheists.  

So here's a little of that.

For those in a church - you have or find a comfy place there where God is accessible in some way.  There’s a somewhat understandable way things are done, and the general point is easy to follow - you show up, be part of the group, contribute, and be supportive.

The idea that God might have had something else in mind is unthinkable. "What else could there be?  Church has been like this since the 1st century, hasn’t it?  What else could God have possibly have intended?"

The church is a closed system. If you want in, you join it - if you weren't born into it. You follow its rules and norms. Trust its leadership. Assume it’s what God wants. You lean into the people and the increasingly important connections between them and find your place among them and rarely question it.

The church community becomes God’s representative and, in a way, it becomes God. It honors God through worship and service, but blends that honoring to the point that the worship and the service are what’s actually worshipped and served.

Evangelism is about sharing faith in the church and the church community and, if God gets shared in the process, well good for him.  He’s not the main point, but you need to pretend he is, mainly for tax purposes.

If you like what church has to offer - and it has a lot to offer - then you are welcome.  

At least as long as you aren't too demanding or require too much hand holding.  And if you're culturally or economically so different, you can become a service project or mission point, but not an actual member we'll have in our small group or over for dinner.

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That's harsh isn't it?  I think it is.  

But that is what it is like looking back into church after "being out of it" in the way I was for a long time. 

"But we are good people and we do good things and our intentions are good and we're worshipping God the best we can and we're trying, for goodness sake!"

As an insider, it DOES feel weird for an outsider to look at you and have any kind of opinion that's negative. 

"Why attack something that does so much good? We're not trying to bother you. We're nice. We have great, encouraging gatherings and stuff for the kids and young people to do. If you're a social person, some of our people get together for other fun things. Just come and see!"

If you ARE an insider, even if just for a relatively short time, it's hard to hear much of anything but the good things of the church.  Even if you've had bad experiences with one or two of them, you still feel the call or need to "find a good church" and plug in again, because it's an assumed good thing.

"Sure, people are hard sometimes and maybe even hypocritical, but we work it out!  Or maybe just don't talk to each other 'at church' if need be.  There's nothing more important to God than you being in church on Sundays. Short of inviting other people to church and service projects, it's the most important thing."

And I get that, 100%.  When you're "inside", it's really all you know.  

And that's okay IF you're okay with that.

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IF you're interested in sharing the good news of Jesus with people who aren't already kind of close to you culturally, there's a bit of a problem.

If you remember, Paul (one of the writers of the New Testament) talked about going out of his way to identify with or blend with people who weren't yet believers so that he could "gain an audience" or attract someone's attention enough that he might be able to share Jesus with them.

Jesus seemed comfortable with being around tax collectors and other people who weren't "good Jews". They seemed to be drawn to him.

Peter went into the home of a Gentile military leader to share Jesus with them after having some really strange visions or dreams.

I remember growing up hearing all sorts of mental gymnastics used to explain how Paul, Jesus, Peter, and others weren't "getting too close" to these outsiders or sinners.  

Or that somehow, the outsiders were almost hypnotized by their holiness or something like that, and were drawn to them and just kind over overtaken with God's Spirit.

It was never (or rarely) that they went to those people * where they were * in their situations, to be with them and talk with them as humans in need.

And that kind of misses the boat entirely.  They DID go to people where they were.  That's what got them in trouble with the other religious people.  

The religious Jews didn't like Jesus hanging out with tax collectors and sinners.  Peter had to go give an explanation that "God did it" when he went into the home of a Gentile.  Paul was hounded by people who didn't like how he shared to good news with Gentiles or what the taught them.

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That gap between church and non-church people is a really big thing. 

Especially for people who are going through deconstruction and rebuilding. 

A lot of those people have friends and family and other people they want to reach with the good news of Jesus, but there's no good middle ground between the church and their non-churched people.

Churches can have all the Trunk-or-Treats and gospel meetings and softball teams they want, but the middle ground remains.  Occasionally those "seeker events" will snatch someone who is already kind of interested or similar enough culturally, but they're pretty rare.

And I don't think churches should stop doing those things.  At least they're trying something.  I guess.  

I will say that too many times, those "seeker events" are still just things for church people since they have to be planned to be friendly enough for church people to bring their families and kids and may or may not create space for people to connect in meaningful ways.

I don't have all the answers to that.  It's a catch-22.

Lots of people out there/out here ARE interested in the good news of what God is doing in Jesus, they're just often not able to hear it from or through a lot of church people.

More on that as all this gets refined.

Peace and goodwill.